Candy Chaos
by Rebel in the Emerald Blaze
Summary: There are two simple rules when taking L into public. One - never leave him alone. Two - make sure his candy supply is well stocked. Unfortunately for Light, he forgets both of these rules.


**_A.N:_**

**A massive thank you to my totally awesome best friend and beta 'Steeled For Ivory'. Thanks for all your ideas and editing skills! :3**

**Disclaimer: I don't, and never will, own the anime series Death Note. All rights go to the respected owners. (I only own the plot.)**

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><p><strong><span>Toffee Apples<span>**

"Sweets."

Droopy eyes blinked as a small smile spread across a pale face.

Onyx orbs flickered over to the fruit stand. The smile disappeared. "Apples."

Crunch.

"I hate apples."

Crunch. Twitch. Crunch. Twitch.

Light was in front of the stand, munching noisily on an apple.

Crunch.

"…I _hate_ apples."

L's sharp teeth bit down on the thumb in his mouth, anxious eyes darting back and forth between Light and apple. Apples. Urgh.

Crunch. Crunch.

L tried to block out the noise. He focused his hearing on the young girl near Light, listening to her high-pitched laughter. And on the woman beside her, who kept giving L curious glances. And the barking dog across the street. The birds chirping above in the trees. Something. Anything.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

It didn't work. L could _still_ hear him.

Light took a particularly large bite out of the red fruit and L flinched, causing him to lose his balance in his unusual position. With the widening of black eyes and a loud thud, the detective fell off the park bench that sat opposite the stall. Staring up at the sky, L blinked, cursing apples to the deepest circle of hell.

Step. Step. Step.

The loud footsteps stopped inches from L's face and he squinted up through the inky bangs covering his eyes. Through the black strands, L could make out the shape of Light's face, along with the amused smirk placed on his lips. Swallowing his sigh, L shut his eyes to avoid looking at Light.

"Ryuzaki? What are you doing down there?" Yes, Light was definitely entertained. Damn him.

L shut his eyes tighter; "I have found that this position improves my deduction skills, therefore increasing the chance of me catching Kira."

Chuckling, Light crouched down next to the fallen L, obviously not believing a word, "And you think I'm the liar? Pfft. Apparently your sitting position increased deduction by 40 per cent. Does lying on the ground further increase your skills?"

Pause.

Dark eyes darted back to Light, looking for an escape to the question, "So you admit you have been lying? Your likelihood of being Kira has increased by 2.5%, Light-"

Light's frustrated sigh could be heard clearly, effectively cutting across what L was trying to say. With a rough shove to the detective's left side, Light glared, "This is our day off! You promised not to mention Kira and also, you avoided the question."

L let out a long, annoyed sigh. He did not like relaxing. He hated it more than he hated apples. That was saying something.

"Are you going to tell me why you are currently on the ground?"

"No."

"Why not?" Light's tone suggested he already knew.

"… I fell."

Light laughed. L wanted to wipe that infuriating smirk of his face.

"So can you get up now, Ryuzaki?"

No.

"Ryuzaki, get up."

Why? The ground was comfortable.

"Come on! Just move already."

Silence. Then…

"_L!_"

Sigh. Why did L have to be stuck with _Light Yagami_ of all people? That annoying, good-for-nothing, little-

"What?"

Light's eyes narrowed, "Get up. I want to go to the store before you drag me back home and not let me out for days. Like usual."

No.

Light paused and L immediately became suspicious of what he was planning.

"I have candy."

Wide, child-like eyes immediately snapped open at the mention of treats. "What kind?"

The smirk appeared once more, "I have cake as well."

L sat up, staring at Light, "What kind?" He repeated.

"Strawberry shortcake."

Before Light could even list off the other sweets he had bought to bribe L, the detective was standing in his normal hunched position in front of Light. His eyes stared unblinkingly; while a pale hand shot up, palm facing upwards.

"…I just don't have the cake with me."

Disappointment flashed across L's face and a small pout became visible. No cake? He should've stayed on the ground. "You said you had cake, Light. You lied. Again. My suspicions of Kira have been further increased by 5%. If you don't have sweets on you, then-"

L was abruptly cut off, again, as Light shoved a brightly coloured lollipop into L's mouth, a desperate look in his caramel-brown eyes – Just shut him up.

L was stunned.

Blink.

The taste hit L's tongue. Sugary, sticky, sweet.

Blink. Blink.

"You gave me a lollipop." L mumbled out around the stick in his mouth.

Light sighed.

"A strawberry lollipop."

The younger man rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed, "Excellent deduction, L. I can now see why you're the world's best detective."

… "It's Ryuzaki, Light. You know that."

Irritation flashed onto Light's face and his eyes narrowed even more, "Well, Ryuzaki, I'm going to the store. With or without you."

And before L could reply, Light was already stalking away towards the direction of the store, obviously knowing that L had to follow to survey his movements.

Sucking on the sweet in contentment, L shoved his hands in his baggy pockets and followed after Light, speeding up his pace slightly so that he could walk side by side with the younger man.

"Will you buy me cake at the store?"

Light did not reply for a few minutes, ignoring the childish companion next to him.

Light could feel L's eyes on him, waiting for an answer. "Will that shut you up?"

The small smile emerged itself again. "Possibly."

"Absolutely then. I will definitely buy you that cake."

"Make sure it's strawberry shortcake. If you're nice to me, I might even give you my strawberry."

"Just this once, please shut up Ryuzaki."

"Only if you buy me cake."

Light threw his hands up in surrender. And then glared at the older man. "Okay, okay."

L's smile widened as he realized that he had won this battle. Ha.

A chiming bell announced Light and L's entrance to the store as they walked inside. Light immediately set off in the direction of the fresh groceries and left L on his own to navigate his way around the large supermarket.

Slowly, L shuffled down the aisles, his eyes searching for the brightly coloured packaging that usually signaled sweet treats. He passed each dully-wrapped item, his despair growing, as he found no sugar. The store did sell candy…didn't they? L shook his head left to right, walking faster, searching desperately for his beloved sweets.

Canned food. Oil. Butter. Flour. Noodles. Tomato sauce. Breakfast cereal. Bread. Fat-free yogurt. Muesli bars. Olives.

No sugar. No candy. No cake.

Was the world ending? Was this the Apocalypse?

L hurried down to where he had seen Light last. Maybe this was Kira's doing? Maybe Kira had found out who he was and was trying to kill him with the lack of sugar? It seemed very likely at the moment.

He had to find Light; maybe he knew what was going on.

L found Light carefully placing some peaches into a plastic bag, down in the fresh food section of the store. Reaching out, L tugged roughly on Light's shirt from behind and held in a chuckle as the bag of peaches fell when the man turned in fright.

"For God's sake, Ryuzaki! What?!"

"I can't find any cake, Light. This is a catastrophe! It must be Kira!"

Light's eyes widened when he took in the appearance of L. Large eyes panicked and so naïve, "They're in aisle four like the sign says," Light pointed to a large sign lit up in neon letters a few feet away.

L turned, releasing Light's shirt and spotted the sign next to aisle four.

"…I knew that."

Light huffed and bent down to collect the fruit he had dropped, knowing already that they would be bruised and no good to eat.

L immediately stepped forwards, ignoring the annoyed noises Light was making. Increasing his pace, L ventured closer and closer to the aisle that would cure his sugar cravings. And, just as Light and the sign said, the whole aisle was full of sugar in every shape and form. Sweet treats lined both sides of the aisle, their packages bright and vivid against the pale shelves. L's panicked demeanor instantly vanished and he broke into a run, picking up every treat he could get his pale hands on.

But he could not find it. They must have it. Light promised that they would. Munching away at some candy he had taken from a discarded packet near his bare feet, L searched top to bottom, trying to find where it was hidden

Then, on top of the shelf, he saw what he had been searching for.

Strawberry shortcake.

Placing his half eaten lollipop on the middle shelf, L stretched as high as he could, trying but just failing to reach the box that was too far back. He became determined. He must get to his darling cake before someone else stole it. He must.

L calculated that he had an 11% chance of obtaining the cake if he increased his height. He also knew that he would have a 0% chance if he stayed standing on the ground.

Desperately, L clawed at the shelving, trying to gain leverage to add to his height and therefore allowing him to attain his cake. He ignored the bemused glances of passerbys and focused all of his attention on his prize.

_"I. Must. Have. It!"_

Kicking aside packages and jars of food that held no interest, L stood on the first shelf, and lifted his body higher. His fingertips just brushed the outside of the box, close enough to touch but not to grab. Lifting his right leg, L placed in on the next ledge, gaining the height he required.

His spidery hands found the box and he gripped the cupboard as tight as possible, not wanting his treasure to slip away again.

Finally.

A triumphant smile lit up L's ebony eyes, adding to the childish innocent the man always seemed to display. L hugged the box to his chest, and tried to retain his balance on the thin metal he was standing on. But, just as L was basking in his brilliance, a young child at the end of the aisle bumped the whole shelving and caused it to wobble violently.

Not again.

L experienced the familiar sensation of falling before he landed in a heap on the cold concrete floor of aisle number four. His position was awkward and ungraceful and witnesses didn't know whether to help, or burst out laughing at the expression of utter excitement on his face.

L's fall had completely unbalanced the shelving he had stood on, sending it tumbling the opposite direction and knocking over the shelving in the aisle behind it. The momentum created a domino affect, each falling shelf knocking over the next.

L smiled. Well, at least he had his cake.

The horrible squelch of the cake hitting the floor near L's head did not block out the noise of a pair of high-heels clacking loudly on the smooth surface. They were getting louder and louder as they advanced on L's sprawled figure.

"What is going on here?"

L felt the strange sense of déjà vu; he peered sheepishly from under his chaotic hair, blinking up at the store's manager who looked as though she wanted to be angry but also wanted to laugh at the same time.

"I was trying to reach the cake." L pointed upwards where the shelf once was.

Pause. "Why?"

Why? Was this woman really that stupid? It was cake. End of story. "I was hungry."

A bewildered silence.

He had finally gotten the silence he wished for. Ignoring the incredulous looks of the spectators suddenly gathered in aisle four, L sat up and stuck his hand into the smashed box that used to hold his lovely, perfect shortcake. Withdrawing the hand, L stared at the white mixture on his fingers before inserting each one into his mouth and licking off the cake remains.

Ah, cake. There was nothing better than cake.

"Uh, sir?"

Shut up.

"Hello?"

Sigh. L looked up from the box his hand was stuck in, "What could you possibly want now?"

Hesitation. "…Are you here alone?"

L frowned. Why was this relevant? What were they implying, "No, I'm here with an…acquaintance. Why?"

"Sir, we have to escort you out of this building for extensive property damage and consuming food that you did not pay for. We will be sending in a legal compliant and I'm sure we'll see you in court."

…Well. Okay then.

"LIGHT! GET OVER HERE."

The woman stared at L after his outburst, looking sterner then she did when he originally fell. "Sir, we must now physically remove you from this building, we will use the necessary force required-".

But just then, Light appeared directly behind the woman, his expression baffled and disapproving while his golden eyes searched. "What have you done now, Ryuzaki?" He didn't seem overly surprised to find L lying on the ground, hand stuck in his mouth and destroyed cake smeared in his long and untidy fringe.

"Hi Light," L waved the hand that wasn't currently in his mouth, "You were right, they do have cake."

The woman seemed even more confused at the turn of events. Turning her pale eyes to Light, she asked, "Excuse me, do you know this man?" She pointed at the figure that was L.

"Yes, unfortunately I do, madam. You see, I'm his carer and he managed to escape my restraints out in the parking lot, insistent that he must have cake. I'm sorry that he caused you trouble."

L snorted into his cake. Carer? So Light was pretending L had a mental disorder just so that they wouldn't get charged for theft and property damage? L wasn't sure whether to be insulted or amused.

Light shot him a look. Shut up, L.

The woman, as expected, turned instantly understanding. "Oh! I see, sir! Well, don't worry about it. But I still have to ask you to exit the building."

L was 93% sure the woman only "understood" because she was currently eyeing Light. Pfft. This woman was a sucker for attractive men.

Light's face turned remorseful, "I'm very sorry for everything, madam. I assure you that I will pay the damage costs." He pulled out his leather wallet.

L grinned slightly, hiding his face in the cake he was currently stuffing into his mouth. Light could sure make a good actor. On the other hand, this raised L's suspicions of him being Kira by a further 3%. Hm.

The woman continued to try and convince Light that he needn't pay the costs and he continued to "apologize" for L's behavior. The woman didn't even seem to notice as Light hid his wallet, obviously not wanting to pay at all.

Sticking his hand back into the stickiness of the ruined cardboard box, L's face dropped in disappointment as he realized he had already eaten all the cake. Standing up and wiping his sticky hands on his white shirt, L stood directly in between the manager and Light, exasperating the woman further.

"Light?" L finished wiping his hands. "I've finished my cake. Can we go home now?"

Light glared at L, grateful that the woman could not see his expression from behind the detective. His face displayed his frustration and anger but his caramel eyes danced with mirth. He was having fun with this.

"I'm sorry, madam. It seems that I must take Ryuzaki home now. Please excuse us."

Turning away from the manger and the crowd of confused witnesses, Light walked in the direction of the entry, and stopped at the front entrance to wait for L to catch up.

L quickly darted towards the fallen shelving he stood on and grabbed his half finished lollipop that he had placed on the middle ledge. Smiling slightly, he shoved the stick back into his mouth and walked past the surprised and disgusted expressions of the crowd and the manager.

What? L was not leaving any precious sugar behind.

As soon as they exited the building and were at least ten feet away, Light burst into hysterical laughter and clutched at his sides.

"Did you see her face when I said you had a mental disorder?

L's lips tugged up in the shadow of a smile, showing his amusement at the situation as well.

"Do you think that would make the news?" L asked curiously, fingers playing with the stick between his lips.

"Can you imagine? The heading would be, "Unidentified man destroys local shop and murders cake," Light laughed at his own stupid joke, "Well, it's more light-hearted then the Kira killings anyway."

L shook his head as they started working in the direction where Watari said he would pick them up "You said not to mention Kira. Don't contradict yourself."

Light shoved L's shoulder, sending the smaller man backwards a few steps. He glared at L but amusement was still written into every line of his body, boyish mischievousness was still present in his expression.

"Oh, yeah…" L took his left hand out of the pocket of his worn jeans. Pulling out a deformed red object, L extended his hand towards Light.

"I saved the strawberry for you, just as promised."

"…Ryuzaki?"

L looked up from inspecting the red fruit on his palm and instead made eye contact with Light, "What is it?"

Light couldn't help smiling a little, "You can have it. I'm allergic to strawberries. I would prefer an apple but thanks anyway."

…

…

"I _hate_ apples."

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><p><em>Turns out that they did make the front cover of the local newspaper the next day. Some witness had managed to get a photo of L, face lit up in delight and his large eyes staring at the sticky mess of cake on his fingers.<em>

_Upon seeing the article, L immediately had Watari frame the front page and hang it above his desk. He also handed out photocopied versions to every task force member for Christmas, including Misa._

_Light refused to buy him strawberry shortcake after that._

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><p><strong>Well. That's that, I suppose. Are they OOC? I dunno, I've never written these characters before. All comments and reviews are appreciated! :D<strong>

**(This was originally written as a one-shot. But, if you want more, let me know!)**


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